Welcome to the year of NOW!

"It has happened before and will happen again, I'm going to react differently this time."

Someone I respect sent that message out in a tweet today and it really resonated with me. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, I guess the lesson I need to learn is that the path I am walking over and over again isn't getting me to the destination that I desire. I'm getting close but not quite all the way. I need to find a different path. I think many people use New Year's resolutions to force themselves onto a correct path, but many times they are just setting off on the same old path to the same old destination once again.

This year I'm starting fresh. I hope that I've found the trailhead that will lead me to a healthier, slimmer, stronger me. The new year brings a clean slate they say and you can do anything you want with a clean slate. So why do we think that January 1st is the day that gives us a clean slate? Don't we have a clean slate every minute, every second of our lives? Why wait till January 1st, till Monday, till I get that raise, promotion, fall in love? Why not give ourselves the gift of forgiving anything we think we have done "wrong", and start anew at this moment? I am moving forward with my journey NOW.

My next year, next month, week, day, hour, minute, second is going to be the best one of my life. It's also going to be the only one I can experience NOW. I can anticipate the future, and remember the past, but the only time I can live in in this minute, this second, right NOW. NOW is when I will decide to eat the food that enhances my life, and not the food I know is not as nutritious as it could be. NOW is when I will decided to move my body instead of sitting an additional hour in my chair. NOW is when I will get outside, breathe the fresh air, and look at the beauty of all that is around me. NOW is when I will tell the people that I love how much they mean to me. NOW is when I will find love, if not from a lover or mate, then from my family, my animals, my friends, even myself. NOW is when I will come to peace with who I am, and respect myself for what I've accomplished.

The past year was my year of living exuberantly and it was amazing! I'm going to take that exuberance and carry it forward into next year, and make it the year of taking care of myself "NOW"!

Peace, and Happy New Year!

Love, Robin

Not exactly a failure, but...

I think I fell into a pothole along the way somewhere. What I'm going to do is pick myself up, dust off, and continue on my merry way.

I had all kinds of things I wanted to blog about the past six months, but none of them made it here. I will attempt to rectify that in a paragraph or two... 

What didn't make it into my blog in June about the San Diego Rock 'n' Roll 1/2 Marathon was my injury. I ended up with a nagging hip injury that has taken months to heal. It was probably caused by the race route going up and over that hill on the freeway. Freeways are made for cars, and cars go around corners better if the road is banked. However, people walk much better when both feet land on a level surface. I think the combination of the incline (both up and down) and the "yaw" of the road caused my illiopsoas strain. I even went to physical therapy for two months to try to repair myself. In the end, massage and stretching were what did the trick, but I was out of commission for a while.

I did have fun though... My friend Patricia moved to Atlanta, and I decided to drive across country with her over the fourth of July weekend. It was a blast and I got to see parts of the country that I had never seen. I now have an awesome collection of shot glasses from each state we drove through. Nine states in three days, and Kansas was a whole day of it!

August brought a trip to Santa Cruz for the Santa Cruz High School All-Class reunion. My friend Kevin flew in from Denver to make the drive with me, and it was so much fun to catch up with all my old buddies. Neither one of us had seen Paul in over 20 years... we hung out quite a bit and had a nice time. I really miss my friends in Santa Cruz, but I've made some great ones here in Vegas.

In September I started training for the Ragnar Relay with some of those friends. The event was held in October, and was an amazing experience. We didn't do as well as we'd hoped, but it was so much fun... in a torturous kind of way. Imaging running (or walking) three 5-10K races, riding in a car, and going sleepless for 36 hours *all at the same time* and you'll know what kind of fun we had. Actually, it *was* kind of fun, cheering each other on, supporting each other, and acting as a giant team was a real learning experience. And yes, I would do it again, but I'd rather be a runner when I did it.

November was the month for Silverman. My good friend Christy had been training all summer to finish it... I decided to volunteer during the event so that I could cheer her on. She did so well and was such an inspiration to me that my new goal is to enter the 2012 Silverman 1/2. It's going to take a lot of dedication, but I need to do it!

My greatest accomplishment in December was that I rode my bike 50 miles... in one day... actually in 4 and a half hours. I am so proud of myself!! I learned a lot about endurance thinking, about not stopping for stupid stuff, and about the value of butt butter. As my wise friend Cyn says "If you're not hurt or puking, keep pedaling!"

I think I have to take that saying more literally. I can't do this halfway anymore, I have to keep on, keep moving, keep making the better choices in food, men, friends, everything. I have to learn that not doing my absolute best isn't hurting anyone but me, and that I deserve better than I've been giving myself. I have to stop shortchanging myself. I need to put myself first. That's hard for me to do. Ouch.

Wow... I did a lot this year! I didn't mention all the hikes, bike rides, and other fun stuff I did. I'll save those for another day. In the end, I'm pretty satisfied with what I've accomplished this year, and next year will be AMAZING!

On being cautious...

I talked a while ago about being cautiously optimistic. I now consider that to be an oxymoron... you can NOT be optimistic while being cautious. You have to just jump in to what ever it is with both feet and let things fall as they may. If things don't turn out the way you hoped, you have to accept them the way that they are, however they are.

Embrace life fully. Live life for what it is, a journey.

Be joyous.
Be impulsive.
Be HAPPY.
Be honest.
Be good to yourself!

Peace.

Making Major Milestones!

Wow, what a weekend of accomplishments!

Friday we went on a hike to Mary Jane Falls. This hike starts at 7800' elevation up on Mt. Charleston and is a climb of about 1000' over a mile and a half of trail. Earlier this year I attempted to climb about 600' over 3 miles and had to stop about a mile and a half in...

NOT THIS TIME!!

Cynthia, Sarah, Elijah, and I took Summit for a birthday hike up to the falls. We packed a picnic (including a bottle of vino) and started out. In my excitement I inadvertently missed a few speed limit signs and was pulled over by Metro. Luckily he was impressed by Summit's incredible blue eyes and decided to cite me for considerably fewer MPHs over the limit than I was actually doing.

He's an amazing dog...

Anyhow, we drove up to Mt. Charleston and hiked up to Mary Jane Falls. Sarah was hiking on a badly strained ankle and Elijah is four years old, so the pace was just right for me! There are a series of twelve switchbacks up the side of the mountain. I had to stop often, mostly to catch my breath from the elevation, so the switchbacks were a nice place to stop. Summit also helped me by pulling me up the trail... he likes to lead, and wasn't happy unless he was in front! Once we arrived at the falls we rested, had some lunch and a glass (or two) of wine to toast my first successful hike in many, many years.

Yes, the wine was delicious!

Saturday was a perfect day for a bike ride. I met Christy and Kathi at Albertson's for another attempt at riding all the way to Blue Diamond. I was feeling strong, and they were a great support team. Ok, they had a great method to keep me going... they made me ride in front so I couldn't stop!

We stopped for a bit at the Overlook, and then headed out for Blue Diamond. Again, I led the charge down the hill. Near the bottom I noticed two women yelling and waving, but I didn't know them so I kept on. I flew down the hill and up the next, never having to shift out of my big ring. I was feeling fine and flying along, so it took me a few miles to notice that I was alone.

"Wow!" I thought, "I'm going so fast that I've lost them!" I'm still a little shaky on my bike, so looking behind me is sketchy. When they didn't catch me after a bit, I decided that I should stop and let them catch up. Um... yeah. Kathi caught me before I came to a complete stop and yelled for me to keep going. This is when my inflated ego crashed... I found out that they had both stopped to talk for a bit, that's why I was on my own!

Me in Blue Diamond.

We rode on and into the town of Blue Diamond, which has been a goal of mine for many months. Getting there was just half of it, though the ride back to town seemed easier than I remembered. Perhaps it was the lure of Starbucks at the end of the ride!

In the end, I conquered two of the things I considered obstacles. Now on to the next "challenge"!!

Walking a half marathon...

At some point in the last few months it became a normal activity to get up in the morning and take a 13.1 mile walk.

I'm not quite sure how that happened, or if it's a natural by-product of training that makes the event feel kind of commonplace. But that's how the San Diego Rock 'n' Roll 1/2 Marathon felt on Sunday. Ok, not commonplace, but normal. Like Sheri and I just pack up the families and drive for hours just to go for a long walk. Just like that.

Ok, not just like that, but kinda. I guess we could do our own 13.1 mile walks here in town, except for one thing... Boredom. Yep, walking around neighborhoods that you've already seen is boring. Oh, and another thing, support. Yes, there are Starbucks on every street corner with cold drinks and clean bathrooms, but they don't bring them out to the curb and cheer you on as you go by. Oh, and a third thing... IT'S FREAKING HOT HERE IN LAS VEGAS!!!

So, you see, the San Diego Rock 'n' Roll 1/2 Marathon was a stroke of brilliance. We were able to combine a short family vacation with a fully supported and entertaining event in a beautiful and cool location. We are so smart! There were enthusiastic fans lining the streets, happy and helpful volunteers, cross-dressing cheerleaders, and oh yes, then there was the bling. BLING!! Yes, that is still our main inspiration for completing the 1/2 marathons.

Not only did we complete the marathon, but we completed it in record (ok, our personal record) time. The course was beautiful, but hillier than our previous races, and we hadn't really trained as we should, but we set new PRs. Hmmm... Could this be our new training motto? Or do you think if we had trained better we could have gone under the four hour mark? We'll have to see for the next event. I think I'll train still. Just sayin.

And the bling is still pretty inspirational too...

Changes in attitude...

Life is fun!

I think I forgot that somewhere along the way, and it's taken me a really long time to remember.

I went on a long bike ride on the River Mountain Trail on Saturday. I rode harder and farther then I had before and had a blast doing it! Along the way I fell off my bike (OK, we're calling it a "tip over") and had a classic "Bonk"... and it was so much fun! Hills, sweat, pain, exhaustion... and the most incredible turkey sandwich from Capriotti's when I was done!

Sunday was our last training walk before the San Diego Rock 'n' Roll 1/2 Marathon on June 6th. It was 7.5 miles long, but felt easy. I'm finding that I'm able to use my body in ways that I couldn't have imagined two years ago. I'm finding my body, and I'm finding myself along the way.

I'm also finding that I have more confidence... I took a chance and emailed someone whom I had seen online. I was lucky, and he emailed me back. I don't want to jinx it, but let me just say that so far things are really going well, and I'm feeling optimistic!

Did I say life is fun? Life is GOOD too!

Isn't it the truth?

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” ~ Neil Gaiman

I read this quote tonight by accident. I wasn't looking for it, but it popped up on the screen while I was surfing around being nosy on Facebook and slapped me in the face. And it wasn't a gentle slap, it was one of those sharp stinging slaps that leave a stinging palm print and giant red mark long after you think you should have recuperated from the insult of it.

I've been a bit on the restless side for the last few days. Ok, that's an understatement. I've been in what I used to call a "Froggy's" mood... ready to go out, drink, dance, get wild, and be slightly reckless with my emotions. I've pondered going out on the town, but going out here in Vegas has it's own complications. Anyhow, when I read this quote I started to understand just a bit of what I'm going through.

I've gone out on a few dates recently. A couple of them were with a man who I really felt a connection to. That protective armor that I had built up around me started to come apart at the seams as I got to know him. That scared me, and with good reason, because after a couple of dates he stopped calling. I wasn't expecting "happily ever after", but I was expecting to be treated differently. My reaction to the rejection? Food and this nagging feeling of emptiness which is SO unfounded!! Eating, drinking, and carrying on in a reckless manner hasn't worked for me before, why would I think it would make me feel any better now??

Time for a long bike ride... I hope it's not very windy tomorrow morning!