Tuesday, December 29, 2009


Every now and then something happens that puts your brain into tilt mode.

Today I realized that I'm not anywhere near whole. I've been working on my relationship with food for a year now, and even though I think I'm surfing along just fine, I'm actually being tossed around in the curl frantically trying to figure out which way is up. I'm not grounded enough or sure enough of myself to be able to ride the waves with ease.

I'm sad today, and I turned to food for comfort. I knew that the end of my potential romance was near, and in fact I welcomed the finality of it because it was going nowhere, but I still took the end of it as rejection, and it hurts. To make matters worse, I turned to crappy food for solace. So what good does eating microwaved canned imitation cheese poured over cold tortilla chips do to help? I looked at the Styrofoam container about halfway through and realized that the nachos weren't making me feel better and didn't even taste good to boot, so I tossed the rest.

In the past that wouldn't have even crossed my mind. I guess I have to chalk that one up as a win, and write this whole romance episode off as a lesson in priorities. I need to be as important in someone elses life as I am in my own, and I need to stop letting other people effect my emotions.

Could someone please press the reset button?

No comments:

Post a Comment